seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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