I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
