You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
