i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
