i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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