my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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