sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
