so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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