I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Fuck appropriateness.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
