some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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