Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
