John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
