So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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