He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
