I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
