Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
