Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize