is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
