Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
