He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
