Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You made out with two different species that night
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
