The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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