I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize