Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
