that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
