So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
