i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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