I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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