super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
