all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
