i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I am one with the molecules
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