Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
