I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
