I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
