Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
