I faked an abortion last night.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
