another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize