Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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