so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
