Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
