everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
