Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
