..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
