he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
