the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I want to be your penis for a week.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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