hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
