This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
