Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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