You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
