Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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