try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
