He asked to "fluff my boner.."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
