Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think my fart just growled at me.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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