You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
