Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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