My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
