shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
