some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
