i just made my gag reflex go away.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
