sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize